Harry Potter

Harry Potter: The King of Sassy One-Liners

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One of the things that makes Harry Potter such a well-loved character in the Harry Potter series is not the fact that he is the saviour of the wizarding world (even though this does make him pretty great). No, Harry is so well loved because of his occasionally sassy and totally cutting one-liners to other characters. Here is a collection of our personal favourites.


Harry Potter Half-Blood Prince – “There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Professor.”

Harry gains major respect for this quip, his angsty teen attitude totally getting the better of Snape. I can remember having to put my book down for a minute just to rejoice in the sheer power of such a retort.

Order of the Phoenix – “You’d think I’d have stopped walking around.”

In my personal opinion, this line is totally underrated. It’s well constructed, witty and just plain brilliant. It also makes one chuckle as it shows just how little Harry cares about the fact that he just landed his classmate’s father in jail. Serves him right.

Order of the Phoenix – “Well, it changes every day, you see.”

I think every fan can agree that seeing Harry get the up over the Dursleys’ throughout the series is overwhelmingly satisfying. And it occurs so many times in the fifth book. No wonder why the OOTP is so huge…

Goblet of Fire – “Good-bye.”

Rita Skeeter is a nasty piece of work and is so irritating you just want to slap the glasses off of her face. Fourteen-year-old Harry Potter basically does this, however, with his cutting response to her question. So simple, yet so effective.

Philosopher’s Stone – “It might be sick.”

Even small, seemingly defenseless Harry has a wit about him. Nervous about joining the “horrible Stonewall High,” his amazing reply to Dudley almost seems impossible. And, yet, there it is on paper, and it’s just so brilliant. Good on you, Harry. Good on you.

Order of the Phoenix – “This is night, Diddykins.”

Once again, OOTP is so brilliant for being filled to the brim with sassy lines from our favourite hero. I wish I could add this whole chapter in, as it’s chock-full of truly brutal remarks from Harry about Dudley. But alas, such a feat cannot happen. So, have my personal favourite.

Half-Blood Prince – “I like a quiet life, you know me.”

This line isn’t sassy per se, as it’s a sweet reminder of the wonderful relationship that Harry has with Mrs. Weasley. But, it is another incredibly witty comment, one that makes you chuckle with delight at the irony and complete hypocrisy in the reply.

Order of the Phoenix – “Maybe Lord Voldemort?”

There are so many retorts between and Harry and Umbridge; it was hard to pick which to use. So we went for the one that actually managed to make its way into the movies. The sarcastic nature of this response is so wonderfully British; you just know what nationality Harry is. It’s truly brilliant, and another example of how hilariously clever Harry is.

Prisoner of Azkaban – “Pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy.”

For our last one-liner, we went with one of those incidents between Malfoy and Harry, where they attempt to outwit each other. In this case, it’s clear who is the winner. Harry’s biting remark is so excellent, not only making humour out of Malfoy’s supposed “injury,” but also his Quidditch playing abilities.


Do you think Harry Potter is excellently witty?

What’s your favourite sassy one-liner made by the Boy Who Lived? 

Comment below or let us know on twitter @dailyfandomtv

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